Why do dying people stop eating and drinking? Is it starving them?

Why does appetite fade?

As the body slows down, it needs less. Many people eat less over weeks, then lose interest in food and drink in the final days. Swallowing can also get harder.

The National Institute on Aging calls loss of appetite a common and normal part of dying. It also says going without food or water is generally not painful.

Is it starving them?

No. Starvation is when a body that needs food cannot get it. Near the end of life, the body is no longer able to use food the way it did. Your person is not hungry in the way a healthy person would be.

This can be very hard to accept. Feeding is one of the main ways we care for each other, so it is normal to feel worried, sad, or even guilty.

Would a feeding tube or IV help?

Families often ask this, and it is worth a calm talk with your hospice team. In the last days of life, the National Cancer Institute notes:

• Extra nutrition has not been shown to help, and it may raise the risk of food or fluid going into the lungs.
• IV fluids have not been shown to help people live longer or feel better, though some families still choose them.

Decisions should follow your person's wishes and goals. Ask your hospice nurse what fits your situation.

How can I still show love with food?

• Offer small tastes of a favorite food if your person wants it and can swallow safely.
• Give ice chips or sips if they are awake and able.
• Keep lips moist with lip balm.
• Wipe the inside of the mouth with a damp cloth or mouth swab.

Dryness of the lips and mouth is a common discomfort near death, and gentle mouth care helps. Never force food or drink.

What do I say to worried relatives?

You might say, "Their body is shutting down, and it can't use food anymore. Not eating is a normal part of dying, and it generally isn't painful. We're keeping their mouth moist so they stay comfortable."

When should I call the nurse?

Call your hospice nurse if your person:

• Coughs or chokes when eating or drinking
• Seems distressed, restless, or in pain
• Has a dry, cracked, or sore mouth that care doesn't help